Adventures in Foster Care

I’m an enneagram type 3, if that tells you anything. I have a need to achieve—to excel. I can be a careerist. If I’m being completely honest, regardless of what I’m doing, I’m probably competing with the person sitting next to me whether they know it or not. This has resulted in many a pulled muscle and wounded ego. That being said, I think it’s important to set the stage. I want to start out by telling you how foster care found me and completely wrecked me.

About three and a half years ago, I finally decided that I trusted God enough to surrender something incredibly toxic in my life. After I gave him that control (at least what I thought was giving him control), ministry opportunities began to avail themselves to me. I said yes to everything. I taught the pre-schoolers on Wednesday nights, I taught a Sunday School Class, I was Outreach Coordinator, I was leading a recovery ministry, I was pursuing my ministerial credentials, and I was crushing at all of it. I loved when people recognized me and told me what a good thing I was doing. I was crushing at all of it until it began to crush me. Ministry on your own strength isn’t possible, but I’m no quitter. I’m an achiever, dangit. I was doing all the right things with the most selfish motivations. So I was going to push aside all of my, we’ll call them “uncomfortable” emotions, and continue to win at ministry.

The first thing that happened was I began to feel led to make space in my home. I’m single and own a three-bedroom house, so I have one guest room dedicated solely to clutter. I began to Marie Kondo the crap out of my stuff. I probably donated or threw away half of what I owned. That helped the stress a little, but I still felt crushed by all my responsibilities.

Then, the Lord had something to say to me. Have you ever been scolded by the Lord? Because I have. It’s not fun. I was praying in my car on my way to work one morning and this is what he had to say:

“You’ve been so busy building your own kingdom that you haven’t bothered building mine. You need to take the crown off that you placed on your own head, lay it at my feet, and wear sackcloth and ashes for a while.”

He spoke so clearly in that moment, convicting and correcting. There are no words to express what that did to me. I immediately stepped down from everything with which I was involved except the Wednesday night pre-school class. And suddenly I felt a major weight lift.

The next thing that happened was I felt lead to fast and seek direction. God had me enter this season of very intentionally making space, but for what? I needed to be knocked off my high horse and walk in humility so I could hear his voice and his leading. I was drowning out his voice with busyness and I needed to slow down long enough to hear his still, small voice.

It was during my time of stillness and openness that something began to punch me straight in the face—foster care. Now, I have a lot of background with child welfare. I worked for the Division of Children and Family Services for 3 years and it stuck with me. I always wanted to return to the child welfare field, but in my 3 brain, that looked like creating legislation, designing and directing programs, you know, something that would make a huge impact AND earn tons of recognition. I began to be burdened for foster care. My social media feed was overtaken by foster care. I couldn’t escape it. So I began ask God if that was his plan for me.

I made the decision to initiate the process of opening up my home. I tend to be really impulsive with my major life decisions, so I knew there was no way this could be an impulsive decision. Long story short, the whole process of opening my home took about 5 months.

In the last 6 months, I have had 5 different children in my home and each one has taught me so much about myself and the Father. Today, I have 3 girls, ages 4, 9, and 11. My 9 and 11 year old have special needs. There is NEVER a dull moment in my home and sometimes I’m desperate for dull moments.

I have lots of thoughts and things to say about my personal experiences with foster care and the broader foster care world. That is the purpose of this blog. It is an avenue of processing for me, to educate, to advocate. I can’t wait to share all of the ridiculously hilarious and heartbreaking moments that happen in the day to day with you!

*Disclaimer, my banner photo is not of a foster child. That’s my great niece who is the CUTEST!