‘Now may the God of peace—
who brought up from the dead our
Lord Jesus,
the great Shepherd of the sheep,
and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood—
may he equip you with all you need
for doing his will.
May he produce in you,
through the power of Jesus Christ,
every good thing that is pleasing to him.
All glory to him forever and ever!
Amen.’
Hebrews 13:20-21
I have always struggled with feeling like a failure. It’s been an identity I have worn and each mistake only secured that identity for me. I have really been struggling with this feeling lately. I’ve lost my temper and yelled at my kids when I should have shown them mercy and kindness. I’ve been insensitive to a friend. I’ve double booked myself. I’ve taken on three kids, two of whom have special needs, all of whom need an incredible amount of individual attention that I can’t possibly give. I am tapped out, depleted.
I was praying this morning, telling the Lord how I was feeling. Ever so gently, as he so often does, he spoke to my heart:
“If you are inside of my will, how can you fail?”
The more I processed this, the more I realized that I am fulfilling the call of God on my life. If I am following him and being obedient to him, I won’t fail. Mistakes happen. It’s part of humanity. But the amazing part of operating within God’s will is this–God’s divinity more than makes up for my humanity. In God’s omniscience, he already knew every mistake I would make, but he still saw fit to call me. My mistakes do not equal failure. And further more, even my worst mistakes cannot derail the will of the Father.
‘All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. ‘ Ephesians 1:3
God has already equipped me and set me up to succeed in carrying out his will. He has given me access to every spiritual blessing I need, he has given me his armor, he has commissioned me–and he does that for each of us.
Peter walked on water just fine as long as his eyes were on Jesus. It was when he shifted his gaze toward the water and panicked that he started to sink. As long as my eyes are on Jesus, my face is set resolutely toward him, and I’m taking faith-filled steps toward him, I can have victory. The second I look down and focus on the insurmountable circumstances–broken kids, work responsibilities, home responsibilities, school responsibilities–it becomes too much to bear and I sink in it.
Thank you, Lord that there is a solution to this. I need only reach up my hand and cry out to him and he will rescue me. I am always within his grasp. God’s grace is sufficient. It’s all I need to make it through this life and carry out the task which he has placed before me.
In my own strength, I am absolutely a failure. I’m so, so, incredibly thankful that I am not required to rely on my own strength.
Adventures in Foster Care 